Resolving Conflict Among Staff: How Effective Supervisors Turn Tension into Team Strength
Leaders who supervise staff know this truth well: conflict is inevitable when people are doing important work together. The question isn’t whether conflict will arise; it’s how you will manage it when it does.
In fact, conflict is often a sign that people care deeply about their work. They bring ideas, standards, and expectations that matter to them. Yet those same passions can clash when perspectives differ or responsibilities overlap.
A Real Situation: The Shop Cleanup Dispute
I recently had a client share a familiar workplace scenario.
One of his staff members came to him frustrated:
“I’m tired of being the one who always cleans up the shop at the end of the day. My coworker never helps, even though it’s part of both our jobs. I feel like I’m carrying his weight.”
The supervisor wondered how to respond.
- Should he tell the frustrated employee to resolve it directly with his coworker?
- Should he go straight to the coworker and address the behavior himself?
- Or should he bring the two together to talk it through?
Each of those choices reflects a different approach to conflict. Which is best depends on the nature of the issue, the relationship between the employees, and the supervisor’s goals for the team.
To unpack this, let’s turn to Ralph Kilmann’s Conflict Model — a valuable framework for understanding and navigating workplace tensions.
Ralph Kilmann’s Conflict Model: Two Key Dimensions
Kilmann and Thomas developed a simple but profound way to understand conflict styles. Their model maps five distinct approaches based on two dimensions:
- Assertiveness — the extent to which a person pursues their own needs, concerns, or goals.
- Cooperativeness — the extent to which a person attempts to satisfy the needs and goals of others.
Where these two dimensions intersect, we get five conflict-handling modes:
| Conflict Mode | Assertiveness | Cooperativeness | Example Approach |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competing | High | Low | “I’ll decide what’s best.” |
| Avoiding | Low | Low | “Let’s not deal with this right now.” |
| Accommodating | Low | High | “I’ll do it your way.” |
| Compromising | Medium | Medium | “Let’s each give a little.” |
| Collaborating | High | High | “Let’s find a win-win solution together.” |
No single mode is “right” or “wrong.” Each has its time and place. The goal for supervisors is to choose intentionally and to help your staff learn to do the same.
Applying Kilmann’s Model to the Shop Example
Let’s return to our shop cleanup conflict.
1. Avoiding: “Maybe it will blow over.”
A supervisor might hope the issue resolves itself, telling the frustrated employee to “let it go.”
This can work if the issue is truly minor or temporary. But usually, it just lets resentment build. Avoidance may maintain short-term peace, but it sacrifices long-term trust.
2. Accommodating: “I’ll talk to him myself.”
The supervisor could take on the burden, cleaning up the mess (literally or figuratively) to keep harmony. While this might smooth things over quickly, it teaches staff that you’ll handle their conflicts for them, eroding responsibility and accountability.
3. Competing: “I’ll tell him to step up or face consequences.”
This is direct and decisive, which is sometimes necessary when safety, quality, or fairness is at stake. But if overused, it can breed compliance without commitment. The coworker may “do the job” but feel resentful or disengaged.
4. Compromising: “Let’s agree on a schedule: you take Monday and Tuesday, I’ll take Wednesday and Thursday.”
This is a practical middle ground. Each side gives a little, and the issue is resolved efficiently.
However, compromise can overlook underlying frustrations — the feeling that one person wasn’t pulling their weight to begin with.
5. Collaborating: “Let’s sit down together to talk about what’s happening.”
Collaboration takes time and courage. It means facilitating a conversation where both staff members share their perspectives and work toward a shared solution. It might sound like this:
“It sounds like there’s some frustration about how cleanup is being handled. Let’s talk together about how you both see the situation and figure out a way forward that feels fair and sustainable.”
This approach doesn’t just solve the immediate problem — it strengthens communication, accountability, and mutual respect for the future.
The Supervisor’s Role: Coach, Not Referee
As a supervisor, your goal isn’t to “take sides” or play judge. Your role is to coach your staff to handle conflict in healthy, constructive ways.
Here are a few principles to guide that process:
- Listen before acting.
Don’t rush to fix the problem. Hear the full story — from both perspectives. - Name the conflict clearly.
Often, people talk around the issue. Help them name what’s really going on. (“It sounds like the core issue is fairness around shared responsibilities.”) - Encourage direct, respectful communication.
Invite employees to speak to each other, not about each other. - Model collaboration.
Demonstrate what it looks like to balance assertiveness and cooperativeness — standing firm on values and expectations, while also showing empathy and curiosity. - Follow up.
After the initial conversation, check back in. Sustainable resolution comes from accountability, not a single meeting.
Turning Conflict into Growth
Handled poorly, workplace conflict drains energy, trust, and morale. Handled well, it becomes one of the most powerful tools for growth — individually and collectively.
Conflict reveals where expectations are unclear, where communication needs to improve, and where leadership can grow. When supervisors use moments of tension as opportunities for dialogue and learning, teams don’t just survive conflict, they mature through it.
So the next time one of your staff comes to you frustrated about a coworker, resist the urge to react immediately. Pause. Assess where assertiveness and cooperativeness need to show up. Then guide the conversation toward mutual understanding and accountability.
Because in the end, conflict is not the enemy of a healthy workplace. Unresolved conflict is.
Closing Thought
Every strong team has learned, sometimes through trial and error, how to turn conflict into collaboration. As a leader, your task is not to prevent conflict but to create a culture where it can be handled wisely, directly, and respectfully.
When that happens, what once felt like tension becomes the very thing that holds your team together.